What I Learned from My Nightmare

We walked through a beautiful college campus looking for demons. We were sons of the light, and we had the power to stop them. We could defeat them and send them away so they could no longer harm the students here. There were some we’d heard of. They had names, and every demon had a number. We numbered them on a scale from 1 to 10 of evilness. The ones at 9.99 were most evil, and we most needed to stop them. 

We walked systematically. We asked people for information. We scoured the land to rid it of every last demon. 

I encountered them. I fought them. I stood locked in combat with them. We held our hands out (they didn’t really have hands. They were black ghosts and floated around like sheets on Halloween.) locked in still combat, fighting more with our minds than anything else. 

Or did I yell? 

I don’t remember. But I know the power I used to fight them came from above. It was not in me. Maybe I called to Jesus to rebuke them. Maybe I covered myself with the blood of Jesus. Maybe I used Jesus’ name to prevent them from hurting anyone else. But whatever I did, it kept us locked in a state of battle. 

Until it was over. 

And the demon vanished and we continued our search. 

And then we realized we never really defeated the demons. They simply vanished and reappeared elsewhere to continue their work. So we searched. 

I woke up too scared to verbally cry out to Jesus or turn over to see what time it was. 

Nightmares are the worst. Sometimes I don’t know if they come from me, or if they come from outside sources, but wherever they come from, I have the freedom and power to invite Jesus into them. I can come before my King as a small child and say, “Daddy, that dream was terrifying. I can’t go back to sleep for fear of it returning. Please come with me. The path is too long and the hallway too dark to the basement. Please hold my hand.”

So I fell back to sleep. 

I dreamed the same dream. I walked with my friends across the same college campus and we searched for the same demons, running to the place we heard they were so we could stop their attacks. But this time, instead of locking hands with the demon and struggling, I held my hands out in front of me with open palms.

“Holy Spirit, come,” I said. “Holy Spirit, come.”

And the demon became a man. And the light returned. The Holy Spirit liberated us all. 

I think much too highly of myself. Jesus has given me the tools, but I’ve forgotten that He is the one I’m following. He has given me the tools to win, but He is the one who tells me when to use them. He is the one who gives me the ability to use them. He is the one who gives me breath. He is the one who gives me life. He is the one who makes all things possible. I need to stop relying on my own strength to save the world. That’s an insult to the cross. If my own strength could save the world, the world didn’t need Jesus. And that’s my problem. I am a glory thief. I do my best to steal all of God’s glory. I want to be the savior of the world. I want to be honored. I want to be known. I want to be loved. 

But Jesus is the one who matters. He is the one who saves. He is the one who works. He is the one who works all things together. He is the one who takes every plan intended for harm and uses it for good and for His glory. He is the one who matters. He is the one who made the sky and the sea. He is the one who made the Bermuda triangle. He is the one who made the Himalayas. He is the one who made the Alps. He is the one who made the sunrise and the stars. He is the one who decided it would be a good idea for the moon to rotate the earth in such a way that we could never see the back side. He is the one who made the trees spring from the ground, such tiny things at the beginning. They are dead and cold in the earth for however long, but they come forth one day a slender green shoot. He is the one who decides how tall it will grow. He is the one who commands its width. He is the one who does all these things. And so I’ll come to him and say, “King Jesus, please stop me from thinking of myself. I cannot do it even if I tried. Please come and show me what you are already doing. I have grand plans that are for your glory, but if they are not your plans, they are worth less than nothing."

I learned to remember Jesus. 

Things to pray for:

That I would remember Jesus and seek His will instead of my own.