Thank You and A Note About Worry

I published a note this week on Facebook and people read it. I wrote it months ago. I sat in my grandparents’ condo in Alaska, sometime during the few weeks after Elevate, and rested. And wrote. I want the world to know there is hope. I want the broken to know healing is possible, and yes, I know what it’s like to sit on the sea wall and tell God you’re afraid to heal because you don’t remember what it’s like to not be broken. I know what it’s like to walk through the arboretum and tell God, “God, you can give sight to the blind, heal the leper, and make the lame man walk, but you cannot fix this. This is brokenness not in the physical world. I don’t even know what or how many worlds are broken. And You can’t fix this.” I know what it’s like to live in despair, in the land without hope, and I’m here to tell you there is freedom and healing, and it is better and safe and worth the struggle to get there.

And people read the note, and they must have been stirred to urgent prayer on my behalf, because for the past several weeks I've struggled to make healing a priority. I tried to plan healing time, but it was like coming against an insurmountable barrier in the woods. But the day after I published the note, I found there was no barrier. There was time. There was space. There was desire to pursue healing. There were ideas of what to do next. There was interest in what I learned, and there were pages upon pages of notes taken.

These barriers would not have come down on their own. They surely came down only as an act of God, and God moves because we ask him to. So to you prayed for me, thank you. Thank you from the pit of me. Thank you from the brokenness. Thank you from the parts of me that didn’t remember what light looked like.

But that is just a thank you. This week I thought about worry.

We are to be anxious about nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving we are to make our requests known to God. And then the inexplicable peace of God will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. So how do we stop worrying? We thank God. And what do we thank Him for when there are many real and perceived dangers facing us all around? 

God’s love. God’s presence. God’s power. God’s majesty as He sits on the throne surrounded by angles we cannot number. God’s sovereignty. Nothing may come against me unless God allows it, and He loves me and is on my side.

I must say I sometimes worry about what I will do if I see the man who abused me. I’m not sure if I would burst into tears or throw a cake spatula (or knife) at him or just turn very red in all of my discomfort and do nothing at all. It used to make me very afraid. I had nightmares about it. But then God reminded me He is already in tomorrow. He is already in Tuesday. He is already in that moment of terror and pain, and He loves me. And He is on my side. And He is fighting for me. And He will never give me more than I can bear. And should I be knocked down or shattered into pieces, He will pick up every piece of me and make me whole again.

I don’t need to be afraid because the God who already defeated satan, sin, death, fear, shame, malice, hate, destruction, perversion, and every form of brokenness in the world is on my side. And he destroys the enemy with the breath of his mouth. THE BREATH OF HIS MOUTH. Jesus just shows up and then—POOF—the enemy is gone. His very presence destroys evil. It cannot stand before him. So there is no fear, because the same Spirit that overcame death and rose Jesus from the grave is alive and alert in this clay jar.

And fear is a lie. I suppose worry is a lie too. And anxiety. We guard against these things by focusing on truth. We look to God and thank Him for true things. We thank Him for His love and His glorious plans to redeem people back to himself. We thank Him for His power and that the glorious shining of His presence defeats the great enemy. His PRESENCE. And then—POOF—the enemy is gone. And then we’re like. Wow. That’s Amazing. And we fall on our knees to worship and forget what we were afraid of, or anxious about, because we know whatever it is cannot stand in God’s presence. It can much less fight against us in God’s presence. So all we need to do is say, “Jesus!” And He shows up because He loves us and we called for Him, and the enemy is—POOF—gone. 

Things to pray for:

Spiritual protection over the people living in my house and the family not living here. Our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, authorities, powers of this dark world, and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. For unity and like mindedness in the things that matter. For the breaking down of strongholds among us and that God would fill us with His Holy Spirit so we may act toward each other in all the love of God.

Opportunity and boldness to share the gospel in word and deed with my coworkers.

Continued healing. It's been seven days since I posted the note, and people have forgotten to pray for me. The barriers are returning. As long as people pray, I overcome. When they stop praying, I struggle.